Tuesday, December 15, 2009
If The World Really Were Politically Correct
A Politically Correct Christmas Story
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.
Copyright; Author Unknown
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.
Copyright; Author Unknown
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Happy Holidays
Its winter again! Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, even “Sparkle Season”, the time of year with love, joy, and giving has finally arrived. That’s the true meaning of the holiday. Christmas derived from a pagan holiday where landowning men would take part in orgies, drink, and beat their wives. 2,000 years later, and the only differences are that the dominant religious holiday celebrates the birth of their savior who is presumed as being white when he derived from Jerusalem and the new festive grounds to display barbaric behavior is the mall. I have no problem with the holidays, just get the facts straight, and practice what you preach. Have a Merry Christmas Season that begun with the annual trampling of the elderly on Black Friday.
It may sound crude, but try working at the mall at Christmas.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ph1itfEuzIw
It may sound crude, but try working at the mall at Christmas.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ph1itfEuzIw
Entrapment
So, I’m driving to class today, and a cop pulls out behind me and begins tailgating me, most likely waiting for me to screw up so he could pull me over and fill his quota since it’s the last day of the month. This seriously makes me ask myself this question yet again… Shouldn’t that be considered entrapment, and who would take the responsibility if I were stop suddenly for a pedestrian, or rip up the emergency break. It’s not like this kind of stuff is not common. The boondocks nail it. The cops will get someone to snitch by threatening to arrest them, won’t put them on any type of witness protection, allow the person to get beat up or even killed, and then arrest them for withholding information when the victim doesn’t tell them who jumped them. Again, I’m not saying that all cops are bad, but stereotypes are put in place for a reason.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
A Nigga Moment
What causes more deaths to the African American race than cigarette companies? The answer is “Nigga Moments”, and is apparently is one of the major causes of causalities, second only to pork-chops and F.E.M.A. And even more shocking, the Nike Company may be to blame. If genocide was their intent, then they’ve finally lived up to the meaning of their name. This blog still doesn’t make sense? Watch the video.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Textin Pt. 2
As you all know by reading my blog “Textin” that I believe that it is a technology for ignorant people that doesn’t plug into anything because ignorant people who use it have nothing to print. This idea was only strengthened by reading “Rule of Thumbs: Love in the Age of Texting”. Texting in my opinion has a lot in common with Myspace. It is the new “booty call”. Having said that there’s not much in it to bulid a relationship off of. Of course it could have its benefits: telling the person that you have feelings for that you have feelings for them without the fear of studdering, or sending random suggestive texts as a form of foreplay until you see them later on. But an entire relationship built off of texting, where the person can constantly revise what they text or let their friends tell them what to say? That’s just rediculous to me. Like somebody texting “will u marry me?”. I would be tempted to just text them a porno and say, “Sure, here’s your honeymoon”.
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